I have many clients that apologize for everything. I mean everything. If they pick up the bar and walk too close to the wall they will say sorry to the wall. According to the Urban dictionary, “I’m Sorry” is a phrase carelessly thrown about to lessen someone’s guilt. It actually implies that you will not repeat the same offense again. However, since unintentional accidents happen all day long, basically you are on lessening in impact of the phrase not the actual event.
The “I’m Sorry,” also implies that one feels inferior to the task, person, or in many cases the inanimate object you are apologizing to. I had a client yesterday stop during the workout fatigued, she then said, “I am actively trying not to saying sorry right now.” When I asked why she felt so strongly she needed to apologize to me. She replied, “Because I feel like I am disappointing to you.” That feeling of inferiority was over taking her mind with disappointment and sadness. She showed up, she gave her best, I could not have been prouder.
When apologizing you are really asking for forgiveness for whatever hurt, emotional or physical, pain you have caused someone. Failure is a pain inflicted onto yourself. I may empathize with your pain but I am not hurt by it. So, apologizing to me for your feeling of failure is unnecessary. We are so conditioned to say it we forget who we really need to ask forgive to, ourselves.
I am not saying to go around and tell yourself I’m sorry for every little thing. I am actually asking you to practice instant forgiveness. Try, fail, forgive…move on. It is with these little failures we grow and we are only responsible to answer to ourselves and no one else as we grow in these moments.
Stacie A. Zamperini M.Ed.